Here’s the first of a series of posts celebrating failure, calamity, neglect and the perversity of nature. Don’t try this at home.

Number one is my bonsai strawbini. Now, I know that two-for-the-price of-one offers are normally too good to be true, and strawberry spinach definitely sounded like it was promising more than it could deliver. Fruits AND spinachy leaves, on a self-seeding plant, that’s quite relaxed about the weather? In your dreams. (though perhaps I’ve invented even stranger plants in the small hours after a late cheese-laced dinner…)

But not in your dreams. In real life. Mr H has some fine specimens on his fine blog. He posted his pictures quite soon after I’d sown my seeds and I must confess to having done a little jig of excitement. Bring on the crazy plant!

strawbini

Not reaching for the sky

To cut short what easily could  turn into quite a long ramble, my seeds came up just fine, and sprouted lots of healthy looking leaves. Lots of leaves.

One tiny issue (literally): none have grown above an inch tall. Lots of leaves – lots of very small leaves. Each plant has stayed the same size for more than two months just growing its tiny leaves. I may make a tiny spinach stir fry for some woodlice.